Children and divorce are like oil and water – they don’t mix. Hidden emotions can stew for years, altering the way a child thinks, feels, and acts in a world they secretly dislike for breaking their parents into two very unequal parts. No matter what type of relationship you have with your ex-spouse, remember that your loving conversations are just scratching the surface of what is often intense agony and self-blame for children of divorce. Here are two issues your child must deal with when you get divorced.
1. Life Isn’t the Same Anymore
Whether you and your ex-partner fought, were icy cold, or pretended to be lovingly sweet, that was what your child considered to be his or her normal style of life. When you use a divorce attorney Tampa and are finally divorced, that state of being isn’t there anymore, and that can cause a high, and often intense, sense of insecurity for your child. Talking to them won’t make it better because there is no rationalizing their pain away. The life they knew had a bomb thrown into it, and everything they loved was sent into a topsy-turvy tangle of unknown.
2. You Destroyed Their World
It isn’t fair, but blame is a way that humans explain the pain of their human experience. When you and your ex-spouse divorce, in your child’s point of view, someone has to be responsible. Unless you tell your child that one of you cheated and must be held responsible for the destruction of his or her world, the child will spend time blaming you for their misery. This anger and blame could last anywhere for several weeks to many years – it depends entirely on the child.
It maybe you that ends your marriage, but it can often be your child that feels the pain associated with the death of your relationship. If you see signs of depression or anger in your little one, seek the help of a child psychologist immediately.